A Confession

Okay, so we all have our secret fantasies: Some of us actually like watching NASCAR. Some of us enjoy the burning dog shit on our neighbors porch. Some of us stay up late at night, just to catch the latest episode of Laguna Beach. I have my own little fetish that I think it's okay for me to come clean on: I'm obsessed with Nick and Jessica. You all know who I'm talking about.

I remember when they first got married. It wasn't really a big deal to me then. Just another couple tying the knot, blah blah blah. I remember in the fall of 2002 when they first started showing their infamous reality show on MTV, seemed like a stupid idea. But then one afternoon, MTV had a marathon of the first season; I watched the first show and suddenly the remote control just stopped working. I was hooked. Jessica's dumb ideas, Nick's contstant "Did I really marry this girl" look on his face. This was a classic television show in the making. Each week brought a new adventure and as all of us who watched the show saw, it was bringing to pass, yet again, another doomed hollywood couple.

I'm not claiming that I know this couple more than anybody else does who watched their show, but anybody who knows anything about relationships knows that this couple was doomed from the start. Both Nick and Jessica needed each other for vastly different reasons. And unfortunately, it only took them three years to realize that those reasons were less than true love.

Nick's a cool guy, which is part of the reason why I enjoyed watching the show so much. He's exactly the type of guy I would hang around with. He likes sports, likes drinking beer, and enjoys nice cars.

Jessica is exactly the type of girl that I dated in high school: Very attractive, incredible body, talented, but lacking on the intellectual skills.

As everybody knows by now, their relationship is over. Yesterday, Jessica officially sealed the deal by filing for divorce. Both of them are clearly heading in opposite directions. Jessica's career has flourished ever since the couple's reality show took the country by storm. She recently starred in blockbuster films and can get work at the snap of a finger.

Yet Nick's career has floundered. He occasionally has received guest appearances credit on some low-level sitcoms, his appearances on ESPN have been atrocious, and his CD SoulO makes my dog howl in pain. However, because the ever gullible Jessica was NOT properly advised to sign a prenup by her ever-manacing business manager, and creepy father Joe Simpson, it looks like Nick could end up getting $15 Million in a divorce settlement. Hopefully he'll be a lot smarter than his soon to be ex-wife when he gets the money.